Wipe New. OK, let’s talk about this product’s unfortunate name. Wipe is just not an attractive word. For me, it generates images of baby wipes and toilet paper. Maybe as used on an African antelope. But I wasn’t hired to name this product. So I’ll switch to talking about what it does.
Wipe New renews and protects plastic, leather and vinyl surfaces on the interior and exterior of your car or truck. I guess it could be described as a super Armor All with advanced nano-polymer technology that protects surfaces for years. So much of today’s cars are covered in plastic, and it can really look bad after years out in the sun in crowded parking lots. Scuffed bumpers, cloudy headlights, dull-looking trim, weathered dashboards, faded seats – all showroom new with just a quick swipe. Wipe New looks like a great product for all of us who are keeping our cars longer, and the results are guaranteed.
A bad economy results in folks keeping cars longer. If sun and salt damage has made your car’s finish look as dull and lifeless as a dumpster behind a 7-11, Simoniz Restorz It claims its miracle paint restoration technology will restore your car’s color and shine with just a simple spray and rub. Restorz It has the patented 87 surface active agent, formulated to remove all surface contamination and oxidation and revive paint pigment and shine. Billy Mays wannabe Joe Fowler has stuffed his spare tire into the regulation blue shirt and khakis and is definitely using his outdoor voice in this short form spot set in a junkyard.
But wait, because it wouldn’t be a proper As Seen on TV offer if there wasn’t more. Not only do you get Restorz It, you also get Nitro Shine for your tires, a microfiber cloth, 3 wash mitts (with soap in the mitt) and even a bonus Turbo Vac. You won’t be surprised to hear there’s an extra shipping charge for the vac.
So who buys the majority of car care products? Men, I’m guessing. At least that’s what DRTV marketers think, based upon commercials like this one for the Wash Wizard. How do you get men to pay attention to your product? Show it demonstrated by women in bikinis, that’s how! It’s strange, however, that once your attention has been grabbed, the bikini girls are gone and never reappear.