Introducing Forever Lazy, adult-size toddler pajamas made from the same toasty polar fleece used to make the Snuggie. You won’t be surprised to learn this warming wearable is marketed by Allstar, the same folks that convinced the American public to buy millions of cozy Snuggies a few years back. Forever Lazy is not just a blanket with sleeves. No, this revolution in lounging is a blanket with sleeves, legs, hood, and zippered flaps front and back for convenient access when nature calls.
I care not what you do in your own abode. Feel free to laze around 24 hours a day in your fleecy lazywear. But I would really prefer to not see you wearing your Forever Lazy in public. I’ll make an exception for Walmart, where I can avoid you because I don’t shop there, and where apparently the precedent has already been established. But no Forever Lazy pub crawls, please, or movie night at the local multiplex. Don’t wear it while tailgating or at the big game. Don’t even wear it to McDonalds unless you’re using the drive-thru. What happens in Forever Lazy should happen at home.