If you thought today’s drivers weren’t distracted enough, PhantomAlert is a new smartphone and GPS app that provides yet another reason to pay attention to a small LCD screen on your dash or in your lap instead of the road ahead. The PhantomAlert service acts like a virtual radar detector, promising to alert you to speed traps, speed cameras, red light cameras, DUI checkpoints, traffic jams and more. Works with iPhone, Android, Blackberry, TomTom, Garmin, Magellan and even Mac and Windows PCs. So if your driving style is to speed, run red lights, and drive after drinking, PhantomAlert is a service that might interest you. The rest of us will try to drive responsibly and stay out of your way. Find out more about PhantomAlert.
As Seen on TV marketers are always looking for new products that solve everyday problems. Sometimes, they have to invent the problem, then convince you to buy a product to solve it. Today’s new product is a perfect example. Does the dirt, grit and grime that collect on your car’s floor mat noticeably scuff the heel of your shoe? It does? Then you may be a prospect for the Heel Dock, a small carpeted square designed to protect the heel of your shoe from that nasty mat, and protect the mat from your nasty shoe. Heel scuffing is an almost plausible problem, but do you really need to protect your car’s floor mat?
Almost every car and SUV has floor mats to protect the carpeting, because floor mats can be removed for cleaning and even replaced if they wear out. Now we’re being asked to buy the Heel Dock to protect the protective mat. But what protects the Heel Dock? A Heel Dock mat?
Maybe I just don’t get it. Perhaps, ever since you became a licensed driver, you’ve suffered the agony of scuffed heels and worn mats. You’ve been waiting and watching for a product like this. Today’s your lucky day. Your wait is over. Here’s where to order the Heel Dock.
A bad economy results in folks keeping cars longer. If sun and salt damage has made your car’s finish look as dull and lifeless as a dumpster behind a 7-11, Simoniz Restorz It claims its miracle paint restoration technology will restore your car’s color and shine with just a simple spray and rub. Restorz It has the patented 87 surface active agent, formulated to remove all surface contamination and oxidation and revive paint pigment and shine. Billy Mays wannabe Joe Fowler has stuffed his spare tire into the regulation blue shirt and khakis and is definitely using his outdoor voice in this short form spot set in a junkyard.
But wait, because it wouldn’t be a proper As Seen on TV offer if there wasn’t more. Not only do you get Restorz It, you also get Nitro Shine for your tires, a microfiber cloth, 3 wash mitts (with soap in the mitt) and even a bonus Turbo Vac. You won’t be surprised to hear there’s an extra shipping charge for the vac. Here’s where to order.
My car has a blind spot where I cannot see
The autos and trucks in the lane next to me
I start to move over, I think the way’s clear
But is that the sound of honking I hear?
Now in my rear view I suddenly see
A quite angry driver in a red SUV
He flips me the bird while he froths at the mouth
Because I didn’t see him and so cut him off
His face is quite red, I’m afraid he’ll explode
Consumed as he is with his rage of the road
I must solve this problem for once and for all
So the Total View Mirror on my car I’ll install
The concave design ensures I’ll always see
Each Mini, each semi, each red SUV.
So it’s finally Saturday. You’re tired and feeling completely unmotivated. But your spouse hints you should be doing something useful around the house. This is a perfect time to get out the garden hose and attach the Water Jet, an attachment that instantly turns your ordinary garden hose into a high-pressure sprayer without using any gas or electricity. Spray the sidewalk, driveway, house, car, lawn gnomes, or whatever. It looks like you’re busy! You can even do it while sitting in a lawn chair. Maybe even a hammock.
How many more as yet unseen Billy Mays products/infomercials are in the pipeline? I was previously unaware of this auto accessory: the MaxGrip Dash Tray. It seems kind of strange to see this debuting now, since I just noticed that Billy has been removed from the Jupiter Jack spot. I’m wonderin’ why that decision was made.
So who buys the majority of car care products? Men, I’m guessing. At least that’s what DRTV marketers think, based upon commercials like this one for the Wash Wizard. How do you get men to pay attention to your product? Show it demonstrated by women in bikinis, that’s how! It’s strange, however, that once your attention has been grabbed, the bikini girls are gone and never reappear.
If you thought today’s drivers weren’t distracted enough, PhantomAlert is a new smartphone and GPS app that provides yet another reason to pay attention to a small LCD screen on your dash or in your lap instead of the road ahead. The PhantomAlert service acts like a virtual radar detector, promising to alert you to speed traps, speed cameras, red light cameras, DUI checkpoints, traffic jams and more. Works with iPhone, Android, Blackberry, TomTom, Garmin, Magellan and even Mac and Windows PCs. So if your driving style is to speed, run red lights, and drive after drinking, PhantomAlert is a service that might interest you. The rest of us will try to drive responsibly and stay out of your way. Find out more about PhantomAlert.
